TRIP TO THE WINDY CITY!

Hello everyone! Hope you're all doing okay.

For those of you who don't know, on Tuesday 17th October Amy and I had to be in Chicago, the Windy City (more damp on this occasion) to attend an interview with the USCIS regarding my Adjustment of Status from "Legal Alien with Permission to Work" to "Conditional Permanent Resident" And, for those to whom that sounds like Eastern European rap, I thought I'd explain the progression - but later.

The day started with a bang. Amy picked me up from work at noon, and we went straight to the bank in Tremont to draw the necessary funds for our trip. Unfortunately, we ran over a nail in the parking lot and blew our left rear tire. Oops! After we were annoyed, we were immensely grateful that it had happened in Tremont, not halfway to Chicago, and went right to Conoco where they mended it. Phew! So, as I said, the day started with a bang. Like, an actual bang. D'you see? Like, the tire actually went "bang". Oh me...

We decided before we went that rather than try and drive into downtown Chicago we would stay in a Super 8 in Naperville/Aurora Monday night, and catch the Metra commuter express train from Aurora to downtown Chicago in the morning. We had stayed in this particular Super 8 before, and with the exception of a non-functioning pool, we thought we remembered it being a fairly okay place to stay. Indeed, everything looked fine until, after being there for 1/2 hour or so, we went down to the car to get our swimsuits, and were confronted by a group of guys assembled in the lobby, all of well above average height and weight, and one woman with them who looked to be directing them in some sort of operation rather than, say, waiting for more towels. I spotted the woman had a walkie-talkie and told Amy I thought they might be cops, both because of that, and for the following reasons:

1. To see one 350 pound, six-foot-seven-tall guy in a hotel lobby is unusual. To see two is surprising. To see four together is cop-like.

2. There was a woman with them, and she didn't look as if she was about to remove any clothing whatsoever (thus negating the stag-night theory.)

3. CLINCHER: There was a man in body armor coming towards the hotel.

Amy and I about-faced in the same way that Maddie does when you call her and she spots the bottle of dog-shampoo in your hand, and headed back into the hotel. The guys were still there, and the desk-clerk looked on with the kind of expression you see on people who... well, on people whose hotel is being raided by cops. As we made for the lift one guy broke away and followed us to the lift. As I said, he was of a certain build that is described best by saying that it causes, in most men of normal height and weight, an overwhelming compulsion to offer to shine that person's shoes. As we waited for the lift, he turned to us and asked if we'd been staying here long, and told us that it was okay, that they were "just arresting people". We nodded, and said "Ahh..." and then Amy asked if we were safe. He gave a sort of half-shrug, and a "Hmm..." then replied "So long as you don't pull out a gun, otherwise we'll shoot you," to which we both nodded and said "Ahh..." again - this time with just a little added vibrato. When we arrived on our floor we were slightly perturbed to see the door opposite our room open, and as we passed it to go back into ours we heard the words "Did you get it all?" and "You want the rubber gloves?" These snatches of conversation was more than enough encouragement to first call the Super 8 customer service line where we received absolutely no help or assistance whatsoever, then pack up our stuff and move to another hotel.

After stopping at a Hallmark to get directions from a lovely lady who described herself as a "people person" which meant she liked to talk very much indeed, and an equally sweet old Asian lady who drew us a slightly confusing map and told us of a hotel where we could stay two-weeks for $100.00 (wow! - no thanks though!) we arrived at the hotel of our choice, an Extended Stay America, which was not only a much nicer room (see photo below) cheap ($71.50) quiet (shhh... listen...) but also absolutely spotless. So in the event, we felt that - for us, if not for those being arrested - the police raid was a blessing, as we settled down for our evening.

Anyway, I promised I would explain; after eight months of interviews, medical tests, and paperwork in England, when I came over and Amy and I got married I had to apply for my EAD (Employment Authorization Document - not a Green Card!) and concurrently, for Adjustment of Status, which 'adjusts' me from Legal Alien to Lawful Permanent Resident. This required sending a 50-some page packet of 'evidence' to show we were married, how much we earned, that I had never been arrested for anything, that we were living together as a couple, that we earned above the government poverty guideline... etc. Well, after the USCIS decide your application looks solid, they call you and your spouse to an interview, which was why we were in Chicago. If the interview stage is successful, they then grant you Conditional Permanent Resident status for two-years - conditional because during that time any criminal convictions, or change in your eligibility for AOS (in my case, if Amy and I were dis-married) leads to withdrawal of P.R. status, and directions to the nearest airport if you're lucky. Alternatively, after two years of being good, and still eligible, you apply to have the "Conditional"
part lifted, after which your status is adjusted again to that of Permanent Resident, which is when you obtain the "Green Card" of legend, although it is not called that anymore and is not green. This lasts for ten years, can be renewed indefinitely, and is the same as citizenship except that you cannot vote, and cannot apply for certain government jobs only available to citizens - President, for example. However, if like me you consider it slightly odd, if not disrespectful to live permanently in a country and not want to become a citizen you can apply, after three years of Permanent Residency, to become just that. And that, folks, is that.

So... we awoke at 7:00am, both quite nervous, and after finding (quite easily) the station and (with great difficulty) a parking space, we boarded the Metra at 8:15am. After a speedy train ride we arrived in Chicago at just before 9:00am, and as we began the short walk from the station to the USCIS offices the traffic, and moreover its behavior, made us immediately grateful that we had decided to take the train and not drive in. At about 9:30am we arrived at the offices with our huge bag full of evidence - photos, letters, our book about Brian, and proof of our address to name but a few of the items - which we had been told they would want to see. We were very nervous indeed!

Inside we had to first pass through X-Ray machines, where our only problem was two bottles of Coke which we were told ordered by the incredibly scary security staff to "put outside" and a pair of scissors which upon reflection may have been a slight mistake to pack. We weren't the only ones - outside on a grass verge before we went in I saw a pocket knife and mentioned it to Amy. And I thought we were silly with our scissors...

Anyway, I went outside and put them on the sidewalk, then went back in, and we found the second floor and waited.

We had heard various things about how tough the AOS interview could be, but our interviewer spent most of his time shuffling papers, and having me swear under oath to the effect that I have never persecuted anybody, and have never been a drug user, a Communist, member of the Nazi party, or big fat liar, which I was clearly only too happy to do. After only about ten minutes he closed our file, said that everything looked "great" with our paperwork, and that the only reason he wouldn't be able to approve me there and then was because they were still waiting for the results of a name-check request from the FBI to be added to my case. We asked how long it could take, and he said sometimes it can take weeks, and that we "didn't want to know the other end of the scale." (We later found out this means between 18 months, even two years for some cases...) We were slightly irritated that none of the evidence we had stayed up two nights in a row to prepare - and in the case of photos and copies of documents spent money on - was even looked at, but it was a bit like being irritated having gone to the doctor and being told you were healthy, and didn't last long. We left feeling very happy and relieved, a little teeny bit of anti-climax, but mostly hungry and excited to have a couple of hours to pootle around in Chicago, which, as you can see by the pics below, we did!

Because there are quite a few, blogger didn't seem to want to let me upload these directly to the blog, so instead I used www.dropshots.com. If you click on any of the photos below it'll take you to the site where you can view all the photos. There are comments underneath each picture and you can select the either from here, or using the thumbnails on the right side of the dropshots screen.


PHOTOS!!!




Maddie was very pleased to see us when we got home, and when she asked how it had gone, we replied that it had been a really fun, and successful trip.

Take care, everyone!

GROSS!!!

Ok, so Jim and I thought I might have shingles again, despite the fact that what is on my back is in PERFECT circles. I went to the doctor, and she had no idea what it was. She said she'd never seen anything like it. However, it wasn't shingles or ringworm, and she doesn't think it's contagious. She gave me some cream for it and said to come back if it didn't get better in the next few days (or changed in appearance). Well, it WAS two circles, but now it's looking like three! It's so weird, I just had to post a picture. Sorry if you're squeamish, but . . .seriously. Have you ever seen anything like that? I also had a fever along with the "rash" or "burn" on my back.

Holy crap!!

Okay, a little bit of an overreaction, but still! *

Remember my post about desalination? Oh, come now, you must. Anyway, I sort of did some more investigative work and found this:

http://www.landfallnavigation.com/memss.html

Apparently, these are not always as efficient as the product manufacturer claims (naturally) but the principle is absolutely scientifically sound, it being: the clear vinyl dome sits suspended above the seawater. The sun shining down on the dome causes the seawater beneath to evaporate. In the evaporation process the salt from the seawater, which is too heavy to rise with the evaporating water droplets, is left behind and the fresh water begins to collect on the inside of the dome. The shape of the dome then encourages the desalinated condensation to run down its sides and into a collection tray around its perimeter, and splosh! Fresh water! Although I can't help wondering to what degree the water is actually "salt-free", and whether very small salt particles could carried with the evaporating water...

So, how, now, to make this happen using only objects that might conceivably have survived a shipwreck, or plane crash?

Ow, my mind.


* A desalination in-joke there, especially for the desalination crowd.

Eureka College to stage ‘The Taming of the Shrew’

The Shakespearean comedy “The Taming of the Shrew” will be staged by the Eureka College theater department at 7:30 p.m. Oct. 26-28 and Nov. 1-4 and at 2 p.m. Oct. 29 in Pritchard Theatre on the campus.

“The play is all about love,” said director Holly Rocke. “As Petruchio woos the feisty Katherine, we’re introduced to a host of other characters whose antics rival the modern-day ‘Desperate Housewives’ television show.” The audience will be delighted with the characters’ quick-witted repartee, nutty ideas and physical comedy, Rocke said.

Playing the feuding lovers Petruchio and Katherine are Alex Klimkewicz of Kewanee and Jessica Whitington of Oakwood. Cast in other main roles are Sara Joy Boeke of Rockford as Katherine’s sister Bianca and Eric Santman of Spring Valley, Christel Elsen of Naperville and Jordan Jesse of Varna as Bianca’s three suitors.

Rounding out the cast are Patrick Williams of Park Ridge; Aaron Ruder of Metamora; Laura Walsh of Bloomington; Tracey Cappetta of Homewood; Jason Hasty of Hanna City; Karisa Fluegel of Roscoe; Stephanie Papesh of Chicago; Aymee Joslin of Loves Park; Katie Dwyer of Naperville; Casey Meyer of Oregon; Jonathan Yeagle of Farmer City; Erin Tuch-Krause of Buffalo Grove; Kerri Hinman of Tremont; Shalea Otto of Chillicothe; Emily Collard of Mundelein; Kelly Beaty of Hoopeston; Matthew Lathrop of Mt. Carmel; and Matthew Vander Vennet and Rebecca Somogyi, both of Peoria.

Stephanie Arnold of Bardstown, Ky., is the stage manager. Lighting and technical design are by Robert Fulton of Bloomington. Costume design is by Linda Schuerman of Danvers.
Tickets are $7 for adults and $5 for students and senior citizens. Reservations should be made by phoning (309) 467-6363.

For those who don't know, Kerri was my former speech and drama student, and she's in her first play at my alma mater! :)

What a Difference a Day Makes

It's 62 degrees right now. And tonight it's supposed to be down to 40. What up with that?

Hey all!

Wow! Multiple postings in one day! This is Jim here, to add my two-penneth-worth-eth. Amy forgot to mention a couple things. Firstly, it was HOT TODAY - the very definition of an Indian summer. Here is a snapshot from weather.com of the temperature at 5:00pm this evening:

Waughh! 92 degrees! In October! Yeeearggh! As you can see, Amy came up with a plan for keeping cool:

The crosswind created by the two opposing fans is refreshing, and vicious. In fact, on the left of the picture, just out of shot, is a small hole that Sammy made as he passed through the wall at 112mph. It was this event that led us to believe that maybe the 'medium' setting would be more comfortable for us. Sammy's fine btw, with the exception of his whiskers which, judging by his persistent cough, he appears to have swallowed.

Our walk was really lovely btw - we went to what we call "The Trail" between Pekin and Tremont. We walked through the woods, lay down in a clearing, and speculated on the types of various trees. We took Maddie too, and let her run free. She had a great time sniffing and rolling about in the dust and didn't even think about pulling her old prison-break routine. :)

Also, we got something in the mail today that was a sad, but also kind of lovely surprise. Here it is:

As you can see, it's Brian's social security number, and card. We're going to put it in his memory book. The only bit that got me was the signature line, never to be signed. But it was also a really nice reminder of Brian's real-ness, his existence in somewhere other than our hearts and memories.

Anyway, dinner is cooking. Hope everyone is very well indeed both here in IL, over in England, and anywhere else this might be being read from. Take care!

P.S. - oops! I forgot to mention a couple things too. First, the nature walk was Amy's idea. I've been going on for ages about how we should go back there for a walk, and she drove me there as a surprise. Don't worry, she got some Jim-smooching in return. Secondly, I was supposed to be making dinner tonight, but I took so long here blogging that Amy went ahead and has made it herself. She'll get another Jim-smooch for that too. :)

Sammy the Musical Cat

We went out and took a nature walk this afternoon, and when we got back home, we discovered that someone had been into Jim's multi-track music equipment. Here's a picture of the culprit:

He's quite talented, and obviously, all the hard work wore him out.

Saved from Extinction

Remember my green thumb desires? Well . . .I am so proud of myself! First, I must start by saying this: if any of you ever get potted plants or flowers from a florist, do not leave them potted the way they came. We got several, and they were all put together for presentation, not preservation. It's obviously not uncommon, since they were all from different places. These flowers and plants immediately started dying, one by one. I was really heartbroken about it, because not only do they represent the love and compassion of our friends and family, but they are also a living reminder of our son. So I decided to try to somehow save them. Some of them were honestly nothing but a couple of stray stems with roots. I bought pots and potting soil and plant food and a watering can . . .and I am so excited to say that they are getting healthier every day!

This plant was all dead--see the flowers that are all brown and dried at the top? That's how the entire thing looked. But now you can see the red flowers coming back!
The ivy was down to just a few stray strands surviving . . .but as you can see, it's growing like crazy now. I am particularly proud of this one, as I have never had any luck with ivy (my Eureka ivy died not long after graduation).

These two are doing very well, and I really like the pots I found for them.

A Different Child

A different child.
People notice there’s a special glow around you.
You grow surrounded by love, never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy in your mother and father’s eyes.
But if sometimes between the smiles there’s a trace of tears,
One day you’ll understand.
You’ll understand there was once another child
A different child who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When your mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly and may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious, how infinitely fragile is this life on earth.
And one day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother’s tears, another father’s silent grief
Then you, and you alone will understand and offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost, you will tell them with great compassion,
“I know how you feel. I’m only here because my mother tried again.”

Sorry - can't stay. I have to go fill up a pond.

Jim

We got the first season of "Lost" on DVD the other day, and boy is that a good TV show. (It's true!! It happens!! Bloop!) It has also re-awakened my lifelong obsession, first implanted into my young mind by the books of Willard Price, with the ins-and-outs of being stuck on a desert island, though the "Lost" island is admittedly not so desert-like, more quite odd. Indeed, I spent at least half-an-hour last night unable to sleep, considering the mysteries of desalination of seawater, which I was forced to look up on Wikipedia, here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desalination. All of which is very informative, but how would one do it on a raft????

More Scenes from Home

The pictures from the previous post were from last night. These are from this morning.

This is Jim doing his best impression of when he's being asked a question by a customer.Referring to the statement on his vest:And now, the look he gives when they don't understand him:These are my new shoes (perfect for the Butterfly Girl) obtained from Jim's place o'work:

And finally, here is Maddie, giving me a look when I try to take back the new puppy:

And her reaction when I moved to try to take it anyway:

Stay tuned for some video of Jim (taken unawares) as he plays his guitar and watches himself in the mirror (a daily occurence around here).

A Typical Home-Scene

As Jim told me, the cheese on my mouth, a remnant of the cheese popcorn we were eating at the time, doesn't matter. Because, he says, this is a "typical home scene." Man, wife, dog, cheesy face and all.

We were watching our new DVD's of the First Season of Lost. Maddie was tired.

We went to a garage sale across the street and bought this puppy for our next child. Maddie, however, has already fallen in love.

'Sleeve Notes (for Lenny Bruce)'

A stitch in time saves nine, they say
But Baby, you ripped both the sleeves off my jacket

Screw it.
There's a big black hole in my left side
Between the muscle that's tense
When you stand-up straight, and my rib

Where the courage is kept
That's where the fear moved in
- but does not live

Maybe it takes me to go up and see
The seamstress on the hill with a gift
Or the hooker in the corn with stacks and plenty
Jackdaws with blood on their beaks, and their lips
Or maybe pay me a call to Goodwill
To settle my bill, then
empty my pockets in court, and by my life,
Try to shtup the scales and tip the windmills
of the world.

No matter, I'm an illness
- come, come and catch me tomorrow
You can shake me, but I am no fake
See? No sleeves, there's nothing up 'em
but beautiful, bare arms.

My friend April has to go into the hospital tomorrow for some pretty scary medical tests, so please keep her in your prayers. Also, pray for her unborn child, who the tests are for, that he/she is healthy and safe.

I feel like that is what life has handed me . . .a big, fat bottle cap that says, "Sorry. Please try again." I will try again, but just think of us right now and hope that our trying is a success.

Good LORD. There's five days I am happy to be on this side of...

Here's a quick quiz. Which of the following ACTUALLY happened to me during the last five days?

a) Mauled by Otters.
b) Received obscene phonecall from James Lipton.
c) Picked up award for 'Best Thumbs' at the MTV Music Awards, snorted coke backstage with close pal Jay-Z and his minder 2-WAyn.
d) Got electrocuted after inserting my finger into the exhaust pipe of a hybrid car.
e) Mauled by Sandcrabs.

Still thinking? Actually, it's F - none of the above. But I DID do all of the following:

1) Made some really good money - Labor Day was double time! Wheeee!
2) Got to see Joel and Sarah get married and enjoyed their reception very much even though I couldn't stay.
3) Stayed up for a continuous 41-hour period to achieve both. (Sadly true.)

I also heard a GREAT example tonight of 'Wal-Mart Pekin-ese' (the famed language and logic system.) A woman I work with named Kay was complaining that she had to stop off at her sister's to "drop off some stuff" on the way home, and that her sister lived in Boynton. A guy I work with named Richard asked Kay where she lived, and she told him Delavan. "Jeeez!" replied Richard, "That ain't but three beers out of a six-pack away!" I asked him how he knew and he told me that's how he measured everything. To which I wanted to reply that he was six-beers out of a six-pack away from being smart, but a whole kegful of funny. Instead I just smiled and said "Ahhh!" - he's a nice guy, and at 2:20 in the morning, all I had left were bottle tops.

Anyway - must leave you. Hope everyone out there is well indeed.

Jim

Pictures From the Hawaiian Style Wedding

And look how cool my hair was! Sarah's mom did it.

And I Was Worried . . .

Well, Joel and Sarah's wedding went off without a hitch, and it was beautiful, to say the very least. I am so happy that they are married, because Sarah is like . . .well, no, not like--she IS a sister to me. I am so grateful and amazed that my sweet littlest brother found such an amazing woman to be his wife.

I was worried all along that my baby boy would not be remembered today, but I needn't have done so. He was a part of every moment. From my pearl necklace (given as a gift by Sarah to the bridesmaids--I added my silver heart that says "Brian" and the circle Jim got me that says "Hope") to so many people mentioning him and talking about him (even people I barely knew), I was so proud to know how my boy had touched the lives of so many.

The only sad part was my baby having to go off to work at 8:30. I missed him immensely, but nonetheless was proud of him.

Amy's brother Joel and his fiancee Sarah are married today!!

As it did on Amy's and my wedding day, the weather has come up with the goods in a big way - a sunny, breezy blip in a week of cool and greyness - and as mentioned before, the ceremony is outside so it should be really beautiful. Please say a prayer for their new life together; they're a fantastic, caring, and very hard-working couple who deserve every happiness in their future.

Also, on a completely selfish note, if you're in prayer mode and happen to be reading this in the following 24 hours, I could also use a little help. I woke at 5pm yesterday then worked 3rd shift last night, and it doesn't look as if I will be sleeping at all today before I work 3rd shift again tonight. On top of that I am sick with a virus/chest/throat thing, and I'm very tired indeed. To be at Joel and Sarah's wedding is extremely important to me, and I pray that I can remain focused on the wonderful step they are taking together and my excitement for them and set aside my own discomforts.

Amy is there now getting ready, and I join her at 3:30pm - I have been asked to video the ceremony too, so you might thirdly pray that the Orson Welles in me doesn't take over, leading me to extraordinary lengths of control-freakery and perfection-seeking culminating in my deciding to playing the parts of Joel, Sarah, and Pastor Dave Craig myself. Ahhh, I can see it now... (holds up thumbs and forefingers to make frame in front of face - you know, like directors do.)

The Burgoo

Tonight was a burgoo of emotion for me. For those of you not familiar with "burgoo" (ie you didn't go to Eureka College and go there to eat mozerella sticks) . . .it's a thick stew made with lots and lots of different stuff like corn, tomatoes, and even stuff like squirrel and racoon. It was often a community effort--people would bring what they had and throw it into a giant pot over an open fire. The gathering (picnic) where such a stew was served was also called a burgoo. I first heard the word when they named the student restaurant at EC "The Burgoo." ANYWAY . . .Joel and Sarah's wedding rehearsal was tonight. I felt really proud of them and I love Sarah so much, so that made me START crying. Then I remembered that my son should be a part of this all, and how for months we had planned for this day, and talked about how we would wait until a few weeks before to order my dress so he could fit in there with me, and how it might be hot and being 7 1/2 months pregnant might be difficult in that weather, etc. That made me cry harder. Then I looked over at Ashleigh, who looks cute and pregnant now, and I had to walk over to the lake and have some private time to weep. I also felt proud because Ashleigh asked me for lots of advice, but I felt empty because, while I could offer her advice and say, "When I was pregnant with Brian . . ." I couldn't look at my son or hold him. I was sad because her baby is due the first part of January, and so he/she would have only been 6-8 weeks younger than Brian, and they'd have grown up together. Then I missed Jim, who had to be home sleeping, and wished he could be there to give me a hug and take care of me. Then I went to get him for the dinner and about halfway through, we both kinda cheered up, then we came home and had some "together" time, and it was lovely . . .so I am now sitting here feeling this whole "burgoo" of feeling, but happy to be me and to feel things so deeply. Today at work I stood over Alex's crib (a baby boy we have who I love and wanted to have a son because I thought he was so precious) and wept to watch him sleeping there. I ached for my son, and wanted to watch him sleep, perfect and amazing and vulnerable and real. But I also realized how lucky I am to be one of the people in this world to feel things so ACUTELY, and even luckier to be married to someone who feels things just as deeply. Someone who can weep at the beauty of a sunset, or lie in awe, watching the stars overhead.

Wish me luck at the wedding tomorrow. My face has decided to produce one gigantic chin zit, so it's off to WalMart with Jim when he goes to work in a few minutes here so that I can get something to try to fix/help it. Oh, and pray for NO rain, as the wedding is outdoors. :)

KILL SOUP BEFORE IT KILLS YOU.

To quote a Staples manager I interviewed with recently, it's fair to say I have NOT begun - as he ludicrously claimed he and his family did - to "bleed Wal-Mart blue". Indeed, it has succeeded mainly in reawakening my latent distaste for the consumer society, and the focus of my disgust has plopped neatly on the shoulders of soup. Honestly, if you need a stark reminder of the gross excess of consumerism, then it is in the soup aisle (aisle 6) of Wal-Mart in Pekin, Il - as well as many other aisles in many other supermarkets in many other places in the world I'm sure. Seriously, and I'll put this simply, NOBODY NEEDS, HAS EVER NEEDED, OR WILL EVER NEED THAT MUCH SOUP. Even a man woken from a two-hundred-year cryogenic freeze would shake his head when faced with such a monstrous selection. As a quick example, within eight feet of shelf-space we stock the following of ONE BRAND ("Campbell's", and I hope they are ashamed) of ONE TYPE OF SOUP. Ready?

'Vegetable Soup'
'Old Fashioned Vegetable Soup'
'Vegetable Soup made with Beef Stock'
'Vegetable Beef Soup'
'Beef and Hearty Vegetable Soup'
'Chunky Vegetable Soup'
'Chunky Vegetable Beef Soup'
'Microwaveable Vegetable Soup Bowl'
'Low Sodium Vegetable Soup'
'98% Fat-Free Vegetable Soup'
'Healthy Request Vegetable Soup'
'Kids Vegetable Soup'
... and best of all ...
'Vegetarian Vegetable Soup'

- that's MORE vegetable than vegetable, folks. Made only with the most commited peas and carrots Campbell's could pick (at the peak of freshness.) That's not choice, that's just offensive! I am just waiting for someone to come in and complain because there's nothing chunky for her vegetarian kid. And at that I will explode in a melee of SMALL CHUNKS OF BIGGER FOODS, FLOUR, FLAVORINGS, AND WATER. BECAUSE THAT'S ALL SOUP IS. There is actually a soup called "Chunky Italian Style Wedding" - that's totally weird and stupid and nonsensical!!! There is "Cream of Mushroom Soup", and then there is "Creamy Mushroom Soup". The differences in soup are becoming semantic! That's just folly!! Clearly soup is out of control, and we are at the wheel. And before anyone says "But I like soup, though, Jim" - of course you do! There's nothing wrong with a bit of soup. But, as cute as people look while eating it, the whole idea of soup has surely boiled over dangerously. After all, water keeps us alive but floods kill. And on that point, I refer you to the words of the great T.S. Eliot:

"This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends,
Not with a bang but in an enormous tidal wave of soup."

I can't help wondering if Wal-Mart are picking up my vibes - last Monday night they put me on the juice aisle. But look at all the juice!!! Who the hell needs forty-nine kinds of JUICE???!!!

I wish I had a green thumb. I really love plants. They're so beautiful and make one's house seem more . . .I don't know. Natural? Outdoorsy? Anyway, I have never been very good at growing plants, and now this is upsetting me. We got several plants when we lost Brian, and I want to keep them all alive, because they make me think of him and how many people love him (and Jim and I). However, I am really struggling with this task. Tonight I went to WalMart and bought some pots to replant them in, and some plant food and a new watering can. Oh, and some potting soil. SO . . .I have spent the evening potting plants and making a gigantic mess on the floor, which Jim is going to be so pleased with when he gets home from work it's not even funny. :) I tried to vacuum it, and it rubbed it into the carpet, so then I tried the steam cleaner and it made mud. *sigh*

Baby Mine

Baby mine, don't you cry

Baby mine, dry your eyes

Rest your head close to my heart,

Never to part,

Baby of mine

Kathie's angel is now on Brian's grave. I took this picture yesterday evening. Everything looks peaceful and beautiful there. The amazing thing is that the baby resting in the angel wings is almost exactly the same size Brian was when he was born.

Baby Update: A Plan of Action!

Well, we saw Dr. Egley today (spelled it wrong last time), and we now have a definite course of action. My blood deficiency of Protein S is not low enough to cause any real alarm or to have to take heparin. It is low, and after giving birth it is oftentimes low anyway. However, an aspirin a day (started today) will take care of that problem. The other blood mutation was something that is very common in women and not at all the cause of what happened with Brian. In fact, the Protein S deficiency is also not really a "deficiency" at all, just a little on the low side, but it also was not a contributing factor, as far as he can tell. The answer is indeed incompetent cervix. He said that we were correct (actually, the residents at St. Francis were, since they were the ones who told us about it) to think that, and it was his diagnosis as well. All the symptoms were present, and it was really a classic case. SO . . .the plan of action is, as I said, an aspirin a day to assure that everything is a-okay with my blood, and a cerclage between 10-14 weeks. That is now a definite. We are very glad to know this, as we have felt so strongly all along that it was the answer. He seemed very positive and said that actually, for many couples, fertility and achieving pregnancy is the challenge, so we are fortunate not to have that to deal with. Keep us in your prayers!

I am having a hard time. People act like I am "wallowing" or something like that because I still want to talk about my son. I am still grieving, and I feel like people are annoyed by that grief. It's not fair. Would it be so hard for people to sometimes say "Are you doing ok?" or "We're thinking about Brian." ??? Or even to actually listen to me when I try to answer those questions honestly. They just want me to say yes, I'm ok, and get over it already.

Baby Update: I had blood taken (LOTS of it) 2 weeks ago to find out if there were any problems that contributed to Brian coming too soon. Turns out, there is a problem. I have Protein S Deficiency, which, as far as I understand it at this point, is a blood deficiency causing a low INR. I am going to see Dr. Egli, a high-risk OB specialist, on Thursday. I will then most likely be put on daily aspirin immediately. When I get pregnant again, I will be put on a higher dose of daily aspirin as well as have to give myself heparin injections.

Heparin is an anticoagulant. It is used to decrease the clotting ability of the blood and help prevent harmful clots from forming in the blood vessels. This medicine is sometimes called a blood thinner, although it does not actually thin the blood. Heparin will not dissolve blood clots that have already formed, but it may prevent the clots from becoming larger and causing more serious problems.

In addition to this, I will see both Dr. Egli and Dr. Harrington throughout my next pregnancy. I will be monitored constantly and they will be doing weekly checks of my cervix. If at any point it has shortened, begun to dilate, or efface, they will do a cerclage. At least this is (from what I gather) the plan at this point. I will let you all know if this changes after I see Dr. Egli on Thursday.

Hey, no fair!!! No more pictures of me asleep!!!!!!!

I daren't lie down now for fear of what may happen to me. Plus, no telling how my state-wide reputation as a hottie is going to suffer. Also, I don't mean to be lewd, but aren't a man's hairy parts his own business? Or am I just being old-fashioned?

Still, I love what she did with them. :)

So here, at long last, is my revenge!!! And trust me, it's good.











AMY'S SANDALS!! Uwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Touche!! Gotcha!! Take that! Uh... right back at'cha!!

That was bit pathetic, wasn't it?

"It's The Hard-Knock Life"

The gang has all been partying again all night.

Like I said, it's hard out here for a pimp.

So the girl with too much time on her hands

(and no conscious company)

has created a pictoral for your enjoyment.

Re the last post - don't worry everyone, no harm befell my lovely wife. However, I am waiting, camera in hand, for an opportune moment when I shall have my revenge. If I could get a pic of her drooling on the pillow - something like that - that would be just GREAT. :)

Personally, I think the picture of my good self below should be on the front page of Wal-Mart's website captioned: "Interested in a career at Wal-Mart? This could be you!" As you can tell from the picture, however, one nice thing is that they're not all that bothered if you shave. Or, going by some of my co-workers, if you bathe regularly, or can read, or walk in a straight line. I know, I know... that's mean... but I just got back from a reaaaally looong shift, so I hope you'll forgive my misanthropy. They don't mind that at Wal-mart either - because none of them know what it means!! Ha ha ha ha!!! Okay... I'm seriously stopping now. Wal-Mart is not a bad place to work per se, but the particular job I am doing is exqusitely dull, but exhausting too. Plus, Amy and I are finding it really hard, especially at the moment, to be apart at night, and I would hate to get to the point where I spend my few waking hours of the day either yawning or feeling grouchy/depressed. I did that for three years in England, but I wasn't with Amy then, and wasn't where I wanted to be. Still, we are extremely short (think Danny DeVito with a stoop) of money at the moment, and Wal-Mart have a little money set aside which, apparently, they are willing to give a bit of to me if so long as I keep turning up and putting things on their shelves. So, that's cool. And it WILL be worthwhile. And on my lunch break I have taken to parking in front of Radio Shack with my favorite music on, and have found that for some reason it's a really awesome place to think about Brian. The hope I am finding in all this is certainly not human. After all, a weight is a weight, and I accepted it upon myself, and indeed felt it hit me very hard. Yet, like the man who stands and walks from the wreckage of a plane, I am not crushed. And I don't know why, except to say that I have a feeling daily as if something, or someone is replenishing the love within me, or perhaps shielding its flame from being blown out.

So, I just scrolled down and looked at those photos once more. Two things: one, don't you think the Maddie and Sammy one looks like a stand-off that just went on too long? Secondly, I now feel that I should apologise to you all myself for the photo that Amy took. No-one deserves to be exposed to my chest hair, in full color, without warning, or a memory-erasing device (you might know it as a large measure of a strong drink.)

Lastly, I don't have the time to write here as much as I used to, so I am going to indulge. On my way home from work today,I drove through the early morning and listened to this song. It's one of my favorites, and I wanted to share the words. (Sing along if you know it...)

"Redemption Song" by Bob Marley

Oh pirates, yes, they rob I,
Sold I to the merchant ships.
Minutes after they took I
From the bottomless pit.
But my hand was made strong,
By the hand of the almighty.
We forward in this generation,
Triumphantly.

Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom ?
'Cause all I ever had,
Redemption songs.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look?
Some say it's just a part of it,
We've got to fullfil the book.

So won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
'Cause all I ever had,
Redemption songs.
These songs of freedom,
Songs of freedom.

"It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp"

This is all they have done today. Sammy's the pimp, btw, and Maddie is his ho. It truly is indeed a rough life they lead. At least Jim has an excuse.

He's the pimp daddy.

(If I'm not here tomorrow, it's because he discovered I posted this and something very bad happened to me)

Hi--I have probably emailed most of you reading this, but for those of you who didn't get that email, I wanted to post here. I found a section of the March of Dimes website where they raise money for prematurity research. As the website says, "The answers can't come soon enough." You can purchase a baby band there. I think it's really important, so pass the word along!

http://www.marchofdimes.com/prematurity/how_help_c4_2.asp

Thanks!

Just Some Stuff I Found . . .

Some of this helped me, and some of it may be able to help others. None of it is intended to be preachy. It's just reflective of some things I'm feeling at the moment.

How to support someone who has lost a baby:

Hollow platitudes can hurt. Don't try to minimize the loss by saying things like, "It was meant to be" or, "You're young. You'll get pregnant again."

It takes time. Allow the person to grieve at her own pace, and don't encourage her to "get over it."

Preaching doesn't help. Just be a willing ear. Listen before you give advice, and respect the person's beliefs.

But don't be silent, either. It helps to acknowledge the loss as a significant event.

Sharing the pain:

After losing a child, a woman must learn how to share the loss in a very fertile world that largely still doesn't understand the depth of her loss.

Well-meaning family, friends and co-workers often make insensitive, minimizing remarks.

Common platitudes such as, "It's nature's way" or, "You can always try again" make it seem as if the little person so recently alive never even existed.

"People find those kinds of reassurances very hollow at best, and kind of disturbing at worst," said Marilyn Germano, a clinical psychologist in Kirkland.

The woman may also feel anger and envy "about why other people get to have this, and I don't," said Germano.

So . . .I'm sorry for my post-traumatic-stress rantings. I can tell (from lack of responses) that it makes people uncomfortable, and that is totally understandable. I decided a while ago to be more honest about how I was feeling about losing Brian, but I also know that it's difficult to deal with for others sometimes, so . . .forgive me. It's more difficult than ever now, and I don't quite know why. I think perhaps at first I was in shock and had bursts of extreme grief. Then it became waves of sorrow, and now I feel buried under those waves. I guess it's a process one must go through, but I hope against all hope no one else has to. It's also harder because Jim is working nights, so I have a lot of lonely hours with no one to comfort me, and he's so good at doing that. The one person I feel like clinging onto for dear life has to leave me, and while I know it's what we must do . . .it is still rough for me. I just got him here in February, we got pregnant in February, married in April, and lost our child in July. It's been a very eventful, very strange, high and low six months. Continue to pray for us both. Someone at work told me, "It's way harder for a mother." Well . . .make no mistake, that is completely untrue. It's just as hard for Jim. In SOME ways it's harder for me . . .such as the fact of the physical loss of part of me . . .but in some ways it's harder for him. He feels like he has to be strong and take care of me, but he's hurting so much too. He designed and painted the entire nursery, completed 2 days before he lost his first son. All the coats of paint and sweat and frustration and joy that went into that room represented his love, and . . .well, that's not easy for me to even think about. On our website you can see his smile right after he finished, and that says it all. Just keep us both in your thoughts. We could really use some prayer warriors right now.

Pray for me also, that I will be able to redirect my current anger into something more positive. I feel so much despair sometimes that I am afraid for myself. I don't know who to direct the anger at, so most often I direct it at God. Then, being the obsessive-compulsive that I am, I get scared that God won't give me another child because I'm mad at Him. WHICH, I realize, I am really not . . .but kind of . . .etc. So just pray for me as I try to deal with these new feelings of rage.

In other news . . .not only is April pregnant, but Keith and Ashleigh are expecting. She is 17 weeks along (whoah!) They just announced it to the family last night, so pray for their little one and the days of planning that are ahead for them. Pray for April too. She had some complications with her first pregnancy, so just pray that this time things will go smoothly, but that no matter what, her baby will be healthy and safe.

Love to you all. . .

Monty Python knew it. The Marx Brothers knew it. And it's that right when life gets as serious as it can be, it usually gets a bit silly. A lot of the things we do in life that on the surface seem a bit silly are actually incredibly important. And a lot of the things we take very seriously are, when examined closely, really very silly indeed.

Lest you forget this excellent word, here is Chicago's Mayor Richard Daley, responding earlier this year to claims that Chicago Skyway tollbooths were fully staffed to help ensure an unimpeded ride to his Michigan summer home:

"Silly. Silliest thing I ever heard in my life. It really is silly.... It's silly, silly, silly, silly. It is silly, it is just silly. Silliness. That is all it is. Completely silly, completely silly. It's silly, Baldheaded. He's baldheaded. Is that silly? No. Come on. It's the silliest thing I ever heard."

(The school of thought there clearly being 'Say silly enough and they'll know I'm serious.')

Sixth, seventh, or wherever it fits, thank God for silliness - the sense that Man would be doomed without.

I'm having an angry night.

People who abuse their children were allowed to see them grow and live. I, however, was not.

I should still be going to get ultrasounds. I would know by now we were going to have a boy. We'd be buying little boy toys, and buying little boy clothes. Showers would be planned. I should be bigger and round and my belly should be full and hard.

Instead, I am left with an empty house, an empty nursery, and an empty womb.

I have to look not at birth photos, but at post-mortem pictures to remind myself what he looked like.

Part of me died then, and while some days I can pretend to myself and everyone else that it's ok, it's not. I don't know how to recover.

I know all the consolations, because I've told them to myself and everyone else a million times. Yes, he's in Heaven. Yes, he's at peace. Yes, he had a pain-free life. No . . .I don't feel better.

My arms ache for him. My ears want to hear his cries. I want to be tired from lack of sleep, not because I'm missing him, but because he needs me.

I can pretend it's all okay. Tonight I just don't feel like it, because I'm angry.

Ok. I am ranting to all the wrong people here, because none of you who ever read this are like this . . .but I am going to rant anyway, so just bear with me.

Why are people so stupid? Especially in Pekin? Seriously. Those of you familiar with Pekin know that it has never been the capital of acceptance and diversity. So . . .Jim speaks with an English accent. They act like they can't understand a SINGLE word he says. They're all "nice" to him, in that . . ."he's from a foreign country, just nod and smile" kinda way. They know he's a good guy. They're just f-ing idiots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't people ever just LISTEN? He speaks ENGLISH for god's sake! They INVENTED it? COME ON! It really cannot be that hard.

Tips: Don't ask English people if they drink tea every day. And don't act like their accent is the only thing interesting about them. Don't CONTINUE to act like their accent is the only distinguishing thing about them long after you've met/known them. Don't imitate their accent and try to speak to them with a false British accent. It's rude and insulting. And condescending.

Ok. I'm done. And trust me, I'm not talking to any of you friends or family. I just had to go off about it to people who will read it and sympathise with what Jim's been going through. Thanks for listening. (FYI--I know most of you American folks reading this have said you like Jim's accent, and that's not a bad thing or at all what I'm referring to--I love his accent too! It's just one of many things I love/find interesting about him. Anyway, don't think I'm referring to that.)

Kathie bought this for our angel baby.

Isn't it beautiful?

Hey all!

My first day at work!

It was a looo-oooong day, and there were many videos to watch, and a thousand bits of paper to sign, but I am now a Wal-Mart employee with my own name badge!

I'm pretty happy with everything, except the benefits which don't nearly amount to (initially) what they promise outwardly to prospective employees. But after a certain time they are, admittedly, excellent. I have to go in tomorrow at 8:15am to finish my CBL (Computer Based Learning - a.k.a. EQAHTNBSWL - Endless Quizzes About How To Not Be Stupid With Ladders)and then I start on Friday night, 10pm-7am as a stocker in the food section.

I am wary of being 'sold' a job, but I actually do believe Wal-Mart when they tell me that if an employee wants to, and works hard enough, they can build a career there, and that's quite exciting. As is, right now, just the thought of getting a paycheck in two weeks. Oh, and stocking up beef jerky. 'Cause just LOOKING at beef jerky is a thrill for me. IT'S SO SO GOOD.

Anyway, I'm cream-crackered right now, so I'm going to have some dinner with Amy and watch a movie or half. Hope everyone is really good, and thank-you also for all your lovely comments about Brian's website. We are both so glad that our "vision" for it actually came across.

Love to you all,

Jim and Amy

Hey, everybody. Just wanted to let you all know the website for Brian is up and running now. We had a few technical difficulties, but it's all good. Hope you enjoy!

WEBPAGE NEWS...

Hi there everyone,

Well, it's taken a bit of work, but Brian's webpage is now finished and on the web! You can see it here:

http://www.angelfire.com/planet/brianrennie

Hope you like it! You can also find a permanent link to it in the links section to the top-right of this blog. Please, also, feel free to send the address to anyone you think might be interested.

All our love,

Jim and Amy

I got a job!!

Pending a successful drug test (took it this afternoon - should be okay on that one, I think) I start work at Wal-Mart, four nights a week in the food section, within the next ten days!

The interview was actually a little more stringent and in-depth than I had expected. It was nothing extreme - no flashlights in the face, no walking over hot coals - but quite long, and featuring many of those dreadful questions where you have to find an example of something you did in a previous job that matches their description (i.e. name one time you successfully organized a group to achieve the sucessful completion of a task before a deadline when you were in a hurry and provided good customer service and excelled yourself). You know, the ones where all you can think of to say is: "Well, once someone dropped a Snickers and I picked it up for them and they said 'Thanks, you totally nice guy!'" Actually, I did okay with the stories. Due to working for three years at a place whose clientele were at least 1/4 homeless drug users and fifteen year-old alcoholics, I had some pretty good 'customer service' stories to tell. The rest I just made up. (Joke.)

My job sounds like it'll mostly be what I was doing before - minus the drug addicts - which suits me down to the ground. I was a little cavalier on my application form and gallantly put down that I would consider any position, but I would WAAAY prefer to be stacking shelves and lifting boxes than sitting at the checkout singing made-up songs in my head along to the beeping of the barcode scanner, and stacking-stocking-lifting sounds like about the size of it. So, I'm pretty pleased in all. Shifts are 9pm-6am, or 10pm-7am - I think I'm going to go with the 10-7. From previous experience doing 10-6 shifts, I found the extra hour on the end was always easier to bear than at the start.

And the real up-side? I got called Australian by my interviewer! Does this mean that for the first time in my life I look sun-tanned, happy go lucky and even larrikin? I was tempted to claim it, but in the interests of honesty owned up to my Englishness, and she said of course, that she should have been able to tell by my pallor, melancholy and larrikinism-deficiency.

Wakawakawaka.

Hehe. Anyway...

Amy also began back at work yesterday and is doing so well. I am very, very proud of her indeed. The girls at TUMCCC have all welcomed her back, and she has had more than one "pleased to see you" hug from her kids. AND she waited for an hour while I had my interview. AAAAND waited at the doctors while I peed into a cup. You know why? 'Cause she's great.

WEATHER REPORT
.....................................................................................

It's been HOT here. On Monday in Pekin it was 103 degrees! And on Monday in Peking they were all riding bicycles. I have no idea what I'm on about now.

Anyway, hope you're all well and taking good care.

Love,

Jim and Amy

P.S. We're very, very nearly done with Brian's website. We're really pleased with how it looks, and can't wait to share it with you all!

OKAY - WAHOO DOESN'T COVER THIS.

First, hope you're all well. Second...

... I passed my drivers' test!! And look - here's my license!

Well wahoo, anyway! It wasn't (like most things) as big a deal as I had thought, but I think I did fairly well anyhow. I took my test in Roanoke (which for those of you who know Roanoke will probably raise a smile) but it's not like I'm planning on tackling the Chicago Loop anytime soon. Though I am planning to compete in the 2007 Indy 500. And place high, believe me.

In celebration I drove us back through a McDonalds, then through Peoria. For those of you who know Peoria at the moment, ain't it a bummer? Most of the improvements are looking awesome, but in parts it looks like the results of a giant baby playing in a sandbox. Btw - the 'B' restriction on the license refers to my eye sight, i.e. legally I have to wear glasses when driving, which shouldn't be a problem as I don't drive much in the shower or while asleep in bed.

BONUS!!

Here's Amy's license too! She wanted hers on here too - she's had hers for ages though, which is why she can eat fries and drive at the same time without dropping any.

If anyone can tell us why mine is type "ORG", and Amy's is type "COR", we'd really appreciate it. We've looked it up everywhere and it's been bugging us silly. The best we can think of is that with mine being a first issue the 'ORG' might mean 'Original', and because Amy changed her address and got a new card recently her 'COR' may mean 'Corrected'. Hmm.

We've been working really hard on the website for Brian, and it's coming along really nicely. It should be done in a couple of days now. It's been a really nice way of organizing not just the pictures and items related to him, but also our feelings regarding his birth. I can't wait to be able to share it with you all. We called into the cemetery also on the way home and his grave looked beautiful as ever. I showed him my new license - for once in my life I actually wished my picture had gotten a giggle.

We also visited with a really lovely lady called Irma Robbins yesterday, who works for OSF St. Francis in support of mothers whose babies die in childbirth or shortly afterwards. She gave us pictures of Brian taken in the hospital, which are more precious than we can say. She also gave us a bear, unfinished so we could add the last of the stuffing, together with a little heart token which we could put inside him. We called him Ringo and have dressed him in the same clothes we buried Brian in. He's really a handsome bear - we're going to put him on our website too.

Anyway, gots to go.

Takes care,

Jim - and Amy x x

Hooray! Hurrah! Wahoo! And all the other 'whoops'.

Here is a picture of my EAD card, which means that I am now legally able to get up at unearthly hours and do stuff in return for money. Go to work, I mean.

Cool, isn't it? Though why do I ALWAYS look like a criminal in passport photographs???

Plus, in a complete shock development Amy and I received an interview request from the USCIS today pertaining to my Adjustment of Status application. It's at 10:30am on September 7th (my sister's birthday!) in Chicago. Darn. Looks like we'll have to stay in another nice hotel for the night. Probably one with a hot tub, knowing our luck. Just hope they don't have a pool.

If the interview goes as it should, I will get a Permanent Resident card (the infamous 'green card') which means I can, for the first time, live and work without restrictions. Exciting stuff!

Lastly, thank you so much to everyone for your support after Brian's death. It has meant so much to us. We are currently beavering away on a website devoted to Brian which should be ready soon. We'll post the address on here as soon as it's done. We're missing him very, very much, but we have a lot of hope for the future, not a small part of which was given to us by Brian himself.

Love to you all,

Jim and Amy

P.S. - I am planning to take my driver's test on Friday morning. Say a prayer for me. Stay indoors.

P.P.S. - I have already applied for three jobs. One at Staples, one at Wal-Mart (night-work only), and one at Menards. I do have one problem with working at Menards though. Every time I hear the name I think of someone doubled over having just been punched in the family jewels saying "Ooh, me nards." I decided not to put that on the application form.

I John 4:7-8

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.

Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

"1000 Oceans"

~Tori Amos~

These tears I've cried

I've cried 1000 oceans

And if it seems

I'm floating in the darkness

Well, I can't believe that I would keep

Keep you from flying

And I would cry 1000 more

If that's what it takes

To sail you home

Sail you home

Sail you home

It's the middle of the night, and I miss my son.

We went out and got Chinese food tonight from the Fast Dragon in Pekin. We opened our fortune cookies afterwards, eager to benefit from their wisdom and foresight. When Amy opened hers it said this:

"Simplicity and clarity should be your theme in dress."

I think we can all learn something from that.

From (left-to-right) Bloomington Pantagraph; Pekin Daily Times; Peoria Journal Star

Funny Story Time.

Tonight Jim and I were driving by the post office at like 9:30. This guy came running out of that alleyway next to the p.o. He was wearing no shirt and had sweatpants on. Jim acted all concerned and was like shaking his head, so I was like . . ."What?" He goes, "Nothing." So I said, "Just tell me, what??" And he goes, "Did you see that guy come running out of the Dojo?" For the next 10 minutes he goes on to argue with me that there was a Dojo in Tremont, or still is a Dojo in Tremont. We drove by so he could see there wasn't a Dojo, but he still kept insisting there was once a Dojo (above or next to the Post Office). I laughed so hard I seriously almost peed my pants. I totally kept picturing the guy with sweats going to work out at the Tremont Dojo, and then running out all worked up and upset. HAHAHAHAHA

Kreese: Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Karate Student: No, Sensei.
Kreese: Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Karate Student: No, Sensei.
Kreese: Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Karate Student: No, Sensei.

Well, I'm over the England thing. Portugal getting the French kiss-off in the semis helped, but I think it was the therapy that cheered me up most.

HAPPY JULY 4TH FROM JIM AND AMY!!!
.................................................................................

So yesterday was July 4th, a.k.a. Independence Day (it's not just a Will Smith movie, geniuses) and the day of the year when Americans let off fireworks and celebrate their independence from England. Given this fact, I thought maybe I should stay safely indoors, but Amy assured me it wasn't like that and so I celebrated my independence too. We had a really awesome day! At 8PM we went (back) to Hopedale (which was a little odd at first) to watch a really cool fireworks display. We took along a shopping bag full of cheese popcorn and ate lots while the spectacle unfolded. Seriously, you have to love a country where you can eat popcorn from a carrier bag, and where the sandwiches are measured in feet (and occasionally taste like them - ho, ho) We took Maddie and she was exceptionally well behaved and genuinely watched about half the display and HONESTLY sung the Star-Spangled Banner. Only one of those facts is true. Then we came home at about 11PM, and it was so warm we put on suits and went nightswimming (see below) and floated about with the moon on the water.

We took some pictures, but we have to get them developed (we've lost our digital camera - erk.) We'll get them put on a CD so I can blog a few of them.

CALL ME "SPECKLED JIM"
...........................................................

I've spent the day painting what will soon be our baby's nursery, and I have paint in my nostrils. But it's going really well, and I think it's going to look great when it's finished. There are pictures of that coming soon, too, but for now here's a very primitively described preview of our color-scheme:








Ooooooh, nice!










Painting the ceiling is going to be REALLY fun. :) If I don't manage to swallow at least a cupful of blue paint, I will eat my hat. Which would be ironic, and counterproductive.

Anyway, the hat thing made my tummy rumble which woke me up to the fact that dinner time is here again. Hate to leave you, but as we speak Amy is drawing me inexorably from the computer with dulcet song and the suggestion of eggs, and the Ore-Ida brand Hash Brown Patties are cooing seductively from the freezer so, frankly, what can I do? Hope you are all great, and speak to you again soon in one way or t'other.

Love,
Jim and Amy and Stupenderosa

P.S. - Apart from working too hard, Amy is doing great - she's feeling lots of kicks, and has got a nice big bump coming along, too!

P.P.S. - We're not really going to call the baby Stupenderosa. That would be Stupiderooney.

P.P.P.S. - 'Nightswimming' by REM - this song has always been a bit of a talisman for Amy and I.

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.
The photograph on the dashboard, taken years ago,
Turned around backwards so the windshield shows.
Every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse.
Still, its so much clearer.
I forgot my shirt at the waters edge.
The moon is low tonight.

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.
Im not sure all these people understand.
Its not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water.
They cannot see me naked.
These things, they go away,
Replaced by everyday.

Nightswimming, remembering that night.
Septembers coming soon.
Im pining for the moon.
And what if there were two, side by side in orbit
Around the fairest sun?
That bright, tight forever drum
Could not describe nightswimming.

You, I thought I knew you.
You I cannot judge.
You, I thought you knew me,
This one laughing quietly underneath my breath.
Nightswimming.

The photograph reflects,
Every streetlight a reminder.
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.

ENGLAND 0 - 0 PORTUGAL (1-3 on pens)

NOT AGAIN.

NEWS! NEWS! NEWS!

Yes, news.

Just looked at my 'case status' on the USCIS website, and for the first time since 3rd June when I had my biometrics done, my case has been updated. This is called a 'touch' and almost always bodes well - it means that my work authorization should not be long now! Which is a relief, as I have very little money. In fact, the same little that a cotton dwarf would be if it shrunk to nothing and then was put through the washing machine. The only thing it could very possibly be that would be a large f*rt (to put it sonically) would be an RFE - Request For Evidence - which would mean we didn't give them enough paperwork when we applied. Usually, though, these arrive much sooner, when the case is first checked.

Exciting stuff!

Jim and Amy

Hello!

Here I am, writing this from our new apartment. Things are still fairly chaotic - the house is quite a bit smaller than the one we left, and we didn't realise that the things we left in the closets of our old house would breed, and double in number by the time we left. Still, we're definitely getting there, and thank goodness all the lifting and walking up and down stairs with arms full of heavy boxes is done.

My tooth... ok. I went to the dentist on Wednesday morning, had an x-ray, and sure enough I had an infected root which has spread up to my cheekbone which is a little bit painful. So he asked whether I'd rather take antibiotics for a week and come back and have it pulled, or just go for it right away. So I got all manly and said "Go 'head, bub. Pull that sum-b*tch." Or words to that effect. So five injections, and twenty minutes later we decided my mouth was numb enough, and Dr. Loudermilk (yes, that's his name) got pulling and twisting and... PAIN!!!! He explained that it was the infection that was counteracting the anaesthetic, and gave me three more injections into my gum. Cue pulling/twisting, cue... PAIN!!!! Then he stepped back and told me that he didn't feel comfortable pulling the tooth. So, I left, $56.00 poorer, with a numb face and a wrenched, still there, still infected tooth. Still, I also had a prescription for the antibiotics for my troubles, which I have been taking. I just need to decide now if I go back to the same guy and have the extraction attempted again (which he said he was 'fairly' sure would be easier this time) or spend - wait for it - $270.00 to have it pulled under gas. Not sure yet what I want to do, but money may well decide the issue. Grrr. I really need a job and insurance, BAD.

We went and played poker at Keith and Ashleigh's house tonight - it was very cool, and I won, despite an earlier mishap where I bet almost everything on what I thought was a straight (10, J, K, A) only to realize upon showing my hand that I... er... didn't have a jack. I realized I like poker - you can win even if you're a dork.

Anyway, hope you are all great (and enjoying Cornwall, Rennie family! Send pictures!!)

Take care,

Jim and Amy

Hey all,

Move is going very well - I painted our whole bedroom (two coats!) today, and we cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed, and started moving some stuff in. We're hoping to be in our new place by Monday. Cool!

On a cack-er note, I have a toothache to beat the band. With a stick made of lead. It feels like someone is doing this to the left side of my face:






















Sorry to whine but I've been whining to Amy all evening and now she won't come out of the fetal position. Okay, slight exaggeration, but SERIOUSLY. Rude words don't even cover it. I'm going to try and get a dentist to see me on Monday, and maybe pay by installments. I have to exorcize this demon from my gob. Now. Grrr. Owww.

Love to you all!

Jim (and Amy!)

GUESTBOOK!

Just to let everyone know we have added a guestbook link to the links section on the right near the top. Seeing as the comments feature on here doesn't seem to work too well, we thought it would be a nice way of people letting us know they dropped in, and we'd also love to know who visited and when.

It's really easy to do - just click the button to the right and scroll down a little. You don't have to leave your email address if you don't want, but if you'd like us to write back you can. Just let us know who you are and send whatever message you like (so long as it's not mean!)

Anyway, speak to you all soon.

Love,

Jim and Amy x

Hey all!

Still packing...

Well, DEFINITELY reassuring news, but not the big 'male or female' news from our visit on Wednesday to Dr. Harrington. The baby looks GREAT. He has proper arms, legs and feet and even toes now! Not only is he growing at exactly the rate that he should be at this stage, but he once again decided to put on a dance show for us, and ALMOST sucked his thumb. Dr. Harrington said that as he was this active this soon, that by the end of the pregnancy Amy might be feeling some REAL kicks and prods. We think the fact that Amy and I spent over an hour singing a capella Beatles songs in bed the night before might have been something to do with it...

By the luck of the draw he happened to be lying very low in Amy's womb, so the ultrasound itself (hence the not being able to He or Her our baby!) but especially the resulting prints are a lot less clear than last time. Still, we'll scan them and put them up in the next few days. Because he wasn't able to tell the sex yet Dr. H has made another appointment for a more thorough ultrasound in four weeks, which is quite a nice bonus really - means we can have another little health check and "Ahhhhhhh! How cyoooooooot!" sooner than we had expected. :)

Anyway, we have a busy afternoon coming up. We are off to Peoria in a bit to meet up with Amy's friend April, who is a minister up in Rock Falls, Illinois, then right from there tio Eureka to have a cookout with Mark, Marsha, and the rest of Amy's family.

So, hope you are all really well - speak to you again soon!

Jim and Amy and Little One
x x x

Packing... packing... packing...

Moving is a load of crap. Which has to be put in boxes and driven somewhere new. That's why moving is a load of crap.

Hehe. More seriously, it's all good - I spent the day today packing kitchen stuff which I've decided is the worst part of all, but we're very close now! We have set, tentatively (but with determination) to move on Friday of this week, which is exciting.

Amy is feeling lots of pops and wriggles from the baby over the last couple of nights. She thinks it's just baby movements, but I think he may have World Cup Fever too. He totally got excited by Sweden's 0-0 tie with Trinidad & Tobago (I think he knew it made the group much easier for England) and was DEFINITELY more muted after the U.S.A. lost. Movements are a really nice sign though, and help Amy a lot in relaxing about the baby's health and well-being. I've tried to feel them too, but despite sitting next to Amy with my hand on her tum for fifteen minutes with my tongue poking out of the corner of my mouth (helps me concentrate) I think the moves are just too small at present to come through.

Aye well. Gonna go wake Amy and have some dinner with her - hope you're all good.

Love,
Jim and Amy

AMY'S HEALTH: COMICAL NAME, PAIN-IN-THE-BUTT ILLNESS EDITION

Shingles. You heard me - SHINGLES. Well, Amy has shingles, which, fact-finders, is a re-activation of an existing virus. When a person has chickenpox, the virus lies dormant for the rest of their lives in nerve roots. However, at times of stress, or due to illness, or any other factor that lowers the body's defences (tiredness due to work+pregnancy included) the virus can be reactivated, often by exposure to people carrying the chickenpox virus (chickenpox-y kids at Amy's daycare, for example) and - provided the adult has had chickenpox before - the virus presents itself as shingles. Early symptoms are a prickly/painful rash in localised areas, fever, and headaches. Then, if the illness gets more severe, nerve pain and neuralgia occurs, but we're hoping it doesn't come to that. Still, the not-easiest pregnancy is not-easiester, but Amy is doing really well, though she is pretty uncomfortable and running a constant low-grade fever. There is also no evidence that shingles is of harm to a developing baby however, which was a huge relief to find out.

JIM'S HEALTH

I also have had my health problems. It began when I awoke early the other day after a fitful night's sleep with the sweats, shaking hands, inability to concentrate on normal tasks, and a weird tic that made me whoop and punch my fist in the air. More worryingly, I had a loss of identity - specifically national identity - that bordered on schizophrenia. This manifested itself in the strange practice of pledging allegiance to one country one moment, then allying myself with Mexico, or the Ivory Coast the next. Often this occured within the space of an hour. I was so concerned that I dragged myself, on foot, the fourteen miles to our doctor in Tremont, whooping all the way, and after a brief examination during which I dived on the floor and appealed for a penalty, the doctor gravely confirmed to me what I had feared:

I have World Cup Fever.

Symptoms vary in type and severity, but perhaps the most classic - and severe - is making a date in your diary to watch Iran vs. Angola. Drooling upon hearing certain "trigger" words or phrases is also common. See below:




If you or anyone you know begins to display such symptoms, please treat them kindly. Buy them some cheese puffs, tell them not to shower for a while, and allow them to loudly curse the referee in Swedish. Just remember, inside the sufferer still cares about you, his world, and his life. Just not as much as the linesman's eyesight.

Anyway, hope you are all healthy, and wish us luck for our delayed appointment on Wednesday.

Take care,

Jim and Amy x x x

CRUDCAKES.

Well, we'd love to have some lovely new scan pictures, and news of our little one's gender to report, but maddeningly the doctor's office called TWENTY MINUTES before our appointment to postpone, which sucked quite largely indeed. Add some Grrrrr to that Crud. Even more maddeningly (we're pretty mad here) it was rescheduled for next Wednesday, so another whole week of waiting is in store. The reason - though we are a teeny bit cynical - was that four separate women whose doctors all work at Dr. Harrington's clinic all went into labor this afternoon, leaving no doctors at the clinic. We think that just possibly they may have overbooked. If not, I think those women are all a little bit selfish. I mean, I was in Wal-Mart the other day and I really needed to pee, but we were buying groceries and the bathroom was
the other side of the store so I held it in for HALF AN HOUR. Would that have been too much to ask of one of those ladies?? Huh??? Honestly. You'd think the world didn't revolve around us sometimes.

Other than that it was a good day. Amy's daycare has hit the summer season, which means lots of field trips (today they went to Pekin Park and fed ducks and swung swings and slid slides and teeter-tottered on the teeter-totter) and less kids, although they no longer have nap times which makes for a much longer day for Amy.

Our move is not too long away now - perhaps in the next few days. We are a little.. er... underpacked. Until yesterday we had packed:

- A candle.
- Some CDs.

But we've sent most of our clothes over now, all the ornaments and pictures from around the house, and today we packed up books and computer stuff. So, we're getting there.

Anyway, gonna head off now, but I'll write more in the next few days.

Sorry for the lack of news!

Love,Jim and Amy

PS: Doug and Clare - cool hearing from you! If you have any baby tips you have our email. Especially diaper advice, like 'How not to smell one'.

PPS: Any other babycare tips from anyone else always appreciated too. Unless Ozzy Osborne is reading this.