Saturday, August 28, 2010

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love." ~Washington Irving

Thanks for all the support and love. ♥

Monday, August 23, 2010

I've been trying to find a way to say this all morning, and I really can't think of how . . .so I'll just say that we lost the baby. As my OB said, this has nothing to do with my previous problems, it is simply one of those "unfortunate things" that can happen to any couple. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we try to find a way forward from here. ♥

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I know that everyone worries during pregnancy. I know that I tend to worry more in general, because I'm a worrier. But I think those of us who have lost children worry even more. The worry I feel is so great that sometimes it gets on top of me and I feel like I can't even breathe. The funny thing is . . .I'm not even worried about IC this time. I have confidence that the TAC works and I will carry this baby to term. I am worried about the hundreds of other things that can go wrong. I know too many people who have been through too many kinds of loss to be able to say that everything will be okay.

I could go into a lot of details here, but I won't. I just don't have the energy right now.

The real reason I wanted to write this is that recently, every single morning when I wake up, without fail, a specific song is "playing" in my head. Every morning the same song, and I know instinctively I've been dreaming it. It plays throughout the night, somewhere inside of me, and I can't explain why. All I know is that it is there, constantly, and maybe it's a messge . . .

3 Little Birds by Bob Marley

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', "This is my message to you."

Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."
Singin': "Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."

I hope this is trying to tell me something, I really, really do. Because I really want every little thing to be all right this time.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

On July 26, in beautiful Jacksonville, Florida, we found out that we are about to become parents to our fourth child. Rennie Baby #4 is due on April 7, 2011 (our wedding anniversary). Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!