Monday, April 30, 2007

What Makes a Mother?
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard Him say:

"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God, can you be a Mother,
When your baby's not with you?"

"Yes, you can," He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this God
I want my baby here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.

"I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile,
With all the other children and say...

'We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quick,
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'

"So you see my dear sweet ones,
Your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson's through.
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize,
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
And know that you're the best mom!"

~Author Unknown

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Our NICU Story

Every day in the NICU, I looked at the success collages on the wall, and dreamed of the day when we would make ours. I wanted SO BADLY to have a picture of the day he went home, then a picture of him at 1 year, 2 years, and so on. Instead, ours is one of the few collages where the baby didn't make it.
I suppose in many ways it is a success. I know we had 11 days with him. I still wanted it to be a lot longer. Anyway, here it is. It's a photo of photos, so it may not be that easy to see, but you can get the general idea. We took it in tonight, and shared tears with the nurses who cared for him. My parents are also providing coffee, tea, and hot chocolate to the families in the family waiting room, which I think is really nice. It was hard to go in, but actually, I expected to find him there . . .and what I found was a lot different than what I had thought. It felt like the life and spirit was gone. I'm sure every parent feels the same exact way, but when Sawyer was there, it seemed like home. It felt exciting and warm and alive. Now it just feels clinical, like a hospital, and not at all where we belong.
We are still so proud of Sawyer, and his collage will soon be hanging on the wall where it belongs, with all the other little fighters who have been through the NICU experience.

Jim wrote the message you can see in the collage. It was read at Sawyer's funeral, and we sent it to the NICU staff. Here is what it says:

The love of a parent is about doing anything you can for your child. But not all parents are medical professionals, and moms and dads need to sleep sometimes. The staff of the NICU are more than just nurses and doctors, they are the missing pieces: all the things a parents would be if they could.

From the moment he was conceived, we aimed to be the very best parents we could for Sawyer. We gave him all we could. The NICU staff provided those things we simply could not. They were our ears, listening for alarms in the night, and our eyes watching as he, and we slept. They were our hands, changing him, giving him the medicine he needed, moving him to ensure he was as comfortable as possible. And they made sure there was not a moment our boy did not know he was loved.

We want to thank them so very much for everything they did for Sawyer. Their efforts are part of our solace - knowing that his every ounce of fight was matched in equal measure by the doggedness, expertise and ingenuity of those caring for him.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Purell and Other Considerations
We bought a bottle of Purell. Every time we went to visit Sawyer, we had to "scrub in" for 2 minutes (had to set a timer and use scrub-brushes and everything!) and then put Purell on our hands. Our son smelled like Purell because everything that touched him was covered in it. We bought it so we could smell it and smell him. It is crazy how much the alcoholy smell of it makes me see him so clearly and long for him so much.
Last night I stared at his picture for about half an hour. I realized again how beautiful he was. Brian was too, but I never got to watch him move and cry and open his eyes to look at me. I miss them both so badly. I stared at his face and wanted to get in the car, drive to the NICU, and sit with him more strongly than I ever have so far. It still feels to me like he should be there waiting for me, kicking his little legs and covering his tiny ears to block out the sounds of the beeping monitors.
I don't know where to go from here. Since February of 2006, my life has been about being a mother. Everything I have done was for my boys. I had surgery, I took off work, I bought everything a baby boy might need . . .and now I'm left with memories and nothing more. I get emails every day from baby resources--I had subscribed to all kinds of newsletters. I have to delete them . . .you're 26 weeks today! You're 27 weeks today! You're 28 weeks today! No . . .actually, I'm not pregnant, and my sons are both gone. So what can I do? I have no career aspirations, no goals, nothing. I have Jim. We want to get a house, but even that brings pain, because we wanted to buy a house for us and our boys. Now I just have emptiness and blankness and no purpose that I can think of. Other people try to suggest to me what I should or shouldn't be doing . . .try to help me with goals for the future. The only goal I had was to be a good mother for my boys. I would do anything to have them back again. Literally anything. I did everything I could to get them here, but it wasn't enough. I know it wasn't "my fault," but it was my body that failed them, so I can't help but feel like a failure. It feels like everyone is staring at me all the time. I've even had people ask me what I could have done to prevent this . . .as if I didn't do EVERYTHING in my power . . .and tell me that I can't have more kids because other people have gone through enough pain over our attempts to bring our children into this world. How's that for sensitivity?
So now I just wait for something new. I'll let you know when I figure out what it is.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

We ordered Brian and Sawyer's headstone today. It is really simple and beautiful. We think it's perfect. We will scan the plan for it and post it later.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

With Hope

This is not at all how we thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you we had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say and nothing we can do
Can take away the pain the pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more the wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home And now you're free, and ...
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything God promised us is true, so ...

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

~S. Chapman

It's surprising to me how many people have reached out to us. Especially since some of the people who are the closest to us haven't said a word about Sawyer . . .not sorry, not we loved him, nothing. I know they did love him, and it's probably because it's hard for them that they aren't speaking . . . but they have no idea how much it would mean to Jim and I to hear that they are missing our son. That's why it's so incredible how many people have reached out to us with loving arms, people we've never even met, to tell us how sorry they are and how much Sawyer inspired them. I also find myself thinking of Brian too, and hoping that he isn't forgotten. They are both our boys, and both equally loved.

Thanks to all of you for reaching out. It means more than you could ever know.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Well, this sucks. It really does. I thought it was hard the first time I had to come home to an empty nursery, but this time it's even worse. Brian's death, to me, only made sense when I thought he was teaching us for next time. Now neither one makes sense and I have no direction. Every single thing reminds me of Sawyer . . .the stuff in the fridge that we bought because I wasn't supposed to be up for long periods of time when I was pregnant, so we got all kinds of snacky type stuff, microwave meals, and toaster waffles, stuff like that. All of his outfits . . .I keep thinking of them all the time, of him wearing them, of how hopeful we were when we picked them out. It feels like everywhere I go lately I see a dad with his 2 boys . . .that's the way things should be for us. People tell you not to get down or feel sorry for yourself, but I can't help it. I think I deserve to feel sorry for myself and my husband and all of our family. We needed Sawyer really badly, and even though I know he's okay, we're not. I miss him really, really bad.

I even miss going to the NICU. I started crying last night because I was eating Oreos and I remembered they had Oreo snack sticks in the NICU family room snack machine, and I was going to try them one day. I miss calling in the middle of the night to check up on him and make sure he's ok. I miss all the nurses and his doctors. But mostly, I miss him. I miss holding his hand, watching him wiggle, seeing his eyes open when I called to him. Every time we left, Jim and I gave him kisses to hold in the palm of his hand, so that if he got scared, he could just close his fist and feel our love. I miss doing that too.

People keep asking us where we're going from here . . .are we going to try again? Well, I don't know the answer to that. If we do try again, it will be years from now. I can't go through the loss (or even worry of loss) of another child. We are considering adoption in the future, but again, that will be at least a year or more. We had decided, after Sawyer was born, that we were not going to have any more of our own . . .he was enough. Now we don't know what we're going to do. We're not ready to stop thinking about our boys, and we're not emotionally able to move on yet. I'm also not going back to the daycare. How can I take care of other people's children when I can't even see my own? It breaks my heart.

I just keep cleaning the house. That's all I can think to do. Stay busy. I have gone over 48 hour stretches without sleep, then crash, then work some more. I have carried furniture by myself down 2 stories to the basment, moved around furniture . . .etc. That's aside from all the cleaning. I have converted the nursery into a craft/music/library room . . .along with memories of the 2 boys. It looks nice, but it still isn't the same without a crib and changing table and a baby to love.

Monday, April 16, 2007

They Don't Understand
A friend of mine, Mary Ann, recently told me about this song, which describes perfectly the way I've been feeling about the world lately. Strangely enough, it's by Sawyer Brown . . .and for those of you who don't know, Brown is my maiden name, so people always said they thought of Sawyer Brown when they thought of our son. Anyway, the words are so true and go along with what I said about treating people with more compassion and kindess every day, because you never know what they're going through.
They Don't Understand
by Sawyer Brown

A mother riding on a city bus
Kids are yelling kicking up a fuss
Everybody's staring not knowing what she's going through
Somebody said don't you even care?
Do you let 'em do that everywhere?
She slowly turned around, looked up and stared
She said Please forgive them
But they've been up all night
Their father struggled but he finally lost his fight
He went to heaven
In the middle of the night
So please forgive my children
(They don't understand)
Everybody's busy with their own situation
Everybody's lost in their own little world
Bottled up, hurry it up trying to make a dream come true
(They don't understand)
Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow
Maybe we should stop and take a little time
Cause you never really know what your neighbor's going through
(They don't understand)
A man driving on the interstate
Slowing down traffic making everybody late
Everybody's staring not knowing what he's going through
Somebody honked from the passing lane
Yellin' out the window, I ain't got all day
The old man looked around and he caught his eye
He said please forgive me
You know it's been a long life
My wife has passed away and my kids don't have the time
I've been left all alone
And its getting hard to drive
So please forgive me children
(They don't understand)
Everybody's busy with their own situation
Everybody's lost in their own little world
Bottled up, hurry it up trying to make a dream come true
(They don't understand)
Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow
Maybe we should stop and take a little time
Cause you never really know what your neighbor's going through
(They don't understand)
A man hanging on a wooden cross
Giving everything to save the lost
Everybody's starin' not knowin' what he's going through
Somebody said you don't have a prayer
If you were king, come down from there
The man just turned his head looked up and stared
He said please forgive them
For they have not seen the light
They'll come to know me when I come back to life
Go to heaven, to make everything all right
So please forgive your children
(They don't understand)

Everybody's busy with their own situation
Everybody's lost in their own little world
Bottled up, hurry it up trying to make a dream come true
(They don't understand)
Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow
Maybe we should stop and take a little time
Cause you never really know what your neighbor's going through
(They don't understand)
A mother riding on a city bus
Kids are yelling kicking up a fuss
Everybody's staring not knowing what she's going through

Sunday, April 15, 2007

You can light a memorial candle for Sawyer James at

Thank you.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

We really, really miss our babies.

We don't know where to go from here.

We were living every day for seeing Sawyer . . .after losing Brian, we never thought we'd lose him too.
If everyone would live by imagining that something had just happened in the lives of the people they encounter, the world would be a better place. Today, Jim and I were driving to Pekin. He went to turn from Springfield Road onto Broadway, and paused for about 5 seconds more than usual to make sure no oncoming traffic was approaching. He was just trying to be careful, aside from the fact that our minds were elsewhere, as we'd just been talking about losing our son. A man waiting for us to turn honked at us, threw his arms up, obviously cussed at us, and gave us the finger. We were on our way to buy a dress for me to wear to Sawyer's funeral. I could not believe that someone would treat us in that way for something so stupid and silly as waiting an extra 5-10 seconds to cross the street. I know he didn't realize that we were going through pain . . .but what if he assumed we might be? What if we all went through life treating people with care and tenderness? What if we just assumed that people might be hurting and shouldn't be treated like crap for no reason?

Also, Jim and I have been getting so sick and tired of all the meaningless, ridiculous stuff people complain about . . .the price of gas, the way they had to wait in line at WalMart, their weight, their new haircut. I just don't get it anymore. I know I used to be that way, but after what we've been through, we can't do that anymore. We know what it's like to truly experience real grief and pain, and the little things don't seem so important anymore. Who cares if you're fat or thin in the face of losing your child?

I don't know. I just wanted to share these ideas tonight. Treat people with kindness. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't freak out because someone is driving too slow, or you get cut off in traffic. Don't complain about stupid stuff. Just cherish life and the people you love, because you won't have them forever.

That's all.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Just wanted to post a message regarding Sawyer to let you all know that you can view his obituary at For those of you who have sent emails, cards, flowers, and guestbook messages, thank you. We will be in touch soon, but for now, just know how much you have all meant to us.

Amy, Jim, Brian, and Sawyer

For everyone's information: Sawyer's funeral will be at 10:30 a.m. this coming Saturday, April 14 at Tremont Baptist Church. We will be receiving friends starting at 9:30. You are all invited and welcome to attend. Thank you all for your prayers and love for Sawyer. It has all meant more than we can say. Our only comfort is that he is with his brother now, and they can play together forever.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Our Angel
Sawyer James Rennie left us at 4:47 this morning. They took him off the machines at 3:00 due to organ failure. There was nothing else they could try. He opened his eyes to say goodbye to us as we held him. He struggle valiantly, so long and so hard, but in the end, his little body just could not take anymore. He let us know when he was ready to go be with his big brother. The grief is indescribable and something I can't possibly try to capture here, especially right now, but the love he had was more than we could ever have imagined.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Sawyer is fighting for his life tonight. He had to have a surgery today to reinsert part of his intestines that had protruded from the drain in his side. Then he had to have an iv line started, as well as a "pick line." This goes up his arm and into his chest. He will have to have surgery sometime in the next couple of days to see what is happening in his tummy.

His blood pressure is dangerously low again. His kidneys are not producing urine again. His swelling has not gone down--in fact, it is worse than ever before.

People have commented that they are amazed by how strong we have been through this. We are feeling weak tonight. We cannot leave our baby boy--we are on our way back to spend the night with him. We are very worried and it is devastating to watch your newborn baby suffer through all of this.

PLEASE PRAY TONIGHT! Sawyer needs our help.

Amy, Jim, Brian, and Sawyer

Monday, April 09, 2007

Well, it was a long day today, and full of worry, but as always, full of joy as well. We know that every single day with our son is a day of beauty and a miracle of God. We are so lucky to have such an amazing child, and we love him with all our hearts. It is difficult for us to watch him struggle, but we are determined to fight with him for his life, as long as he still has a fight in him . . .which we hope will be for a very, very long time. The whole family wishes they could take his place, but unfortunately, we can't. It is harrowing, but we are trying to give him to God and allow Him to be in control and heal Sawyer, day by day.

Sawyer is stable. He is not out of the woods yet, not by far. He is a very sick little boy--as the doctors say, he is still critically ill. However, they also keep telling us he is holding his own and fighting hard.

The goal now is to get him to remain stable, keep urinating, and get rid of all the fluid his body has retained. We already think he looks far less swollen, so that is a good thing. If they can get rid of that fluid, they will be able to put in his permanent line for medications and fluids. It's a critical time, because they need to get that put in!!! So please pray that he continues to get rid of the fluid in his body. They can also do surgery on him if they need to for his intestines.

Also, continue to pray for his perforated intestines. They do not know, and will not know for some time, the extent of the damage. However, the nurse practitioner told us tonight that he is not showing a high level of acid in his blood, which is one way they can tell there is a lot of damage--so again, this is a good sign.

It is scary, because the doctors often seem grim and offer very little hope. But we have faced those same conversations almost daily for 11 days now! I can't count how many times we have been prepared that he might not make it through the day. This shows us what a strong fighter our boy is. Everyone involved in his care has said how much he has surprised everyone. Keep praying that he will continue to surprise them and pull through this.

Also, every time Sawyer faces one of these trials, his brain could be affected. They do not know one way or the other. Only time will tell. Please pray that his brain will continue to develop normally and will not suffer for this trauma.

Oh--this evening he managed to extubate himself! He got his oxygen tube out--very, very scary sounding to mom and dad, but actually the nurses said he was fine and it wasn't a big deal. They managed to get some very handsome pictures of him after they re-intubated him, so we will scan them and blog them tomorrow.

Pray for Jim, because he has to keep working so that we will have money for Sawyer when he comes home. It is very hard on him, because he wants so badly to be with Sawyer, and it is awful to have to be at work instead. Then, by the time he gets home, he is exhausted and has to fight it to go be with Sawyer. Pray for me, also, because I have to face the doctors every morning without Jim, and hear the news myself. Thankfully, my mom is able to be with me if Jim is not, but it is still hard that he can't be there too.

Finally, a final prayer request is for the Monti family. A friend of mine from high school, Jennifer Monti, passed away this afternoon. She has been fighting for her life for many weeks in the same hospital where Sawyer is. She had gone in for a lung surgery, but her body suffered setback after setback, and finally she lost her earthly battle. Praise God her spiritual battle was won and she will never feel pain again. Please pray for her family--her parents, Mike and Sharon Whisenand, her brother Anthony, and her husband, Jon Monti. They need a lot of lifting up. Jennifer was only 32 years old.

Thank you all.

Jim, Amy, Brian, and Sawyer

Grandma and Grandpa Brown looking at Sawyer

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Holding Daddy's wedding band

After surgery--we got a closer look while the cover was off his isolette

Well . . .we have bad news and good news, as usual.

This morning we rushed to the hospital to meet with the surgeons. Sawyer's intestine has perforated. We were given the option of "letting him go." We were told that his chances of surviving exploratory surgery to see the extent of the damage were slim to none. However, were were also given the option of having the surgeon put in a drain to see if they could get rid of the fluid, buy him some more time to see if he remains stable enough to do potential surgery, and see if this shows the extent of the damage as well. If his intestinal perforation is small enough, it will heal on it's own.

The good news is that the surgery happened at 8:30ish this morning. We were told by both Dr. Ramiro (his head doctor) and the surgeon, Dr. Pearl, that the next 12-24 hours would show results, one way or the other. Either his stats would plummet or remain stable. They have, thus far, remained stable, and we are over 14 hours out. He is still producing adequate urine, and the drain is doing its job by getting rid of the "bad stuff" in his abdomen.

Our prayers are that he will continue to remain stable and improve, and that the intestinal perforation is small and will heal on its own. Please keep praying hard.

Also . . .thank you so much for your emails, cards, calls, and messages. I have not had much of a chance to respond to each of you individually. Please understand that I am not ignoring you--my husband and I read every one of your messages and they mean so much to us. When things settle down a bit, I will be able to more personally address each of you. For now, please don't think we aren't appreciative of your messages--they honestly mean SO much to us and help to keep us positive. Thank you so much.

Jim, Amy, Brian, and Sawyer

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Well . . .today is our first wedding anniversary. After nearly 48 hours without urine, our little boy gave us a wet diaper! There wasn't much, but it was there--the nurse weighed it twice to make sure! There was also a little bit in the catheter tube. AND he had a tiny bit of "stool." These are the things we have been praying our hearts out to God for, and he answered yet again. His other numbers/stats are looking very good. We could never have asked for more. Everyone kept asking us what we did for our anniversary . . .well, we are proud to say, we spent it with our son. Keep praying for his kidneys, liver, bowels, and lungs.

Happy Easter.

Jim, Amy, Brian, and Sawyer

See that yellow stuff in the tube? That's his little pee! :)

Sawyer was very active tonight, and totally played for the camera. So, for everyone, but in particular his Grandma and Grandpa across the pond, John and Jane, meet Sawyer!

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Friday, April 06, 2007

Well, God has given us the grace to make it through another rough one. I won't say a whole lot, because it's difficult . . .it was a tough morning for baby Sawyer. We were told at 8 pm we'd have to make decisions. Then, as usual, he pulled out all the stops and began to improve. We have a specific prayer request for tonight and tomorrow. His major issue right now is that his kidneys are failing. This could be full failure, or it could be (we HOPE) that they were just shocked because of his low blood pressure. They are hoping that the meds they are giving him, along with continued good pressure, will get them working again. Please pray for his little kidneys, that God would heal them and help them to begin their function again.

Thank you all beyond measure.

Amy, Jim, Brian, and Sawyer

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Another Day

Sawyer is still fighting. We are tired and in need of rest, so I will keep this brief, but keep praying for our little fighter. He is as "tough and rugged" as his name implies. We love him more every day, and every day miracles happen in his little body, so please pray with us that this will be a continuing pattern.

We read him goodnight tonight and last night . . .his Uncle Keith and Aunt Ashleigh (and little cousin Kyleigh) bought him "Love You Forever," so that was his story last night. Tonight I read him the Little Golden Book about God, and Jim read him "On the Day You Were Born." We also played "Blackbird" by the Beatles for him today, and put several items and pictures in his isolette so he would see and feel how much he is loved.

Mommy's Bedtime Story

Daddy's Bedtime Story

Sawyer's Isolette with pictures of the Beatles, mommy, daddy, and the whole family.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

First of all, I am sorry I do not have time to write each of you individually. I promise I will do so when I can.

Sawyer had a rough day today. Earlier in the morning, the doctors were talking to Jim and I about decisions we might have to make about prolonging his life or letting him go. The main issue was his blood pressure, which dropped dangerously low. Then, when they used Dopamine to try to help him, his heart rate was racing, so they couldn't seem to find a balance. The doctors and nurses were all very grim and didn't seem to think he would last very long.

This all started at 9 a.m. when we arrived at the hospital. It is now 10:36, and for the past couple of hours, Sawyer's blood pressure has been back to normal. The doctors and nurses are now fairly certain he will hold stable through the night!

God does amazing things. Please, please . . .we know you are praying, but if you could, double your efforts. We know each day with our baby boy is a miracle, but we're not ready to let him go, and neither are the doctors. He keeps proving to everyone what a fighter he is, so we know he isn't ready to go either. He is so loved, and we know that God's amazing power can work through this little guy. His lungs are still a major issue. Even for a 24 weeker, they are weak, which is not good news. However, the doctors do feel that if they can get the balance right, he could heal. The problem is that they seem to be either over-inflating, which causes a risk of air pockets and blows, or under-inflating, which has caused some collapsed areas. They need to be able to find a balance, and it's been a struggle. So please keep praying, keep sending him your love . . .we know he feels it! He's an amazing, beautiful child.

Thank you all so much for everything!!


Jim, Amy, Brian, and Sawyer

Monday, April 02, 2007


Well, today certainly was an adventure, and I am moved to celebrate the extraordinary juggling skills of the NICU staff. Providing Sawyer with a safe environment for his continued growth, and the right answers to his physical challenges is like cooking five meals, on five stovetops for five different people who all want to eat at exactly five o'clock sharp. It's amazing. Anyway, thought it was time for a couple of pictures.

Sawyer at about 8:00PM on the day of his birth. That's Amy's finger in his hand.

Sawyer is such a brave little guy. He lay quietly while I took his temperature under his arm tonight, though wriggled furiously when I changed his diaper, which proves that he already possesses a keen sense of not wanting to show off his rude bits in brightly lit places. Quite right. I did okay though!

Also, a real surprise, and treat for us today: Sawyer opened his eyes for the first time.

He's still hanging in there great. After a day of big improvements - a definite two steps forward - he took the requisite half-shuffle back tonight, but the end result was a clear gain. A good day.

Sunday, April 01, 2007


Just to let everyone know that Sawyer James Rennie, our son, was born on Saturday March 31st 2007 at 2:43PM at OSF Saint Francis Medical Center in Peoria. He weighed 1lb 9ozs, ansd was 16 weeks and 1 day premature. He is currently in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU!) where he is doing extremely well, and beginning his new adventure in life with great courage and strength.

He is the most beautiful baby, and fighting very hard to continue to grow and stay strong. Any prayers and good wishes would help him tremendously - we are telling him lots how very much he is loved.

Amy is doing very well, and is already up and around, and feeling strong. We are both proud beyond words. :)

Love to you all!

Jim, Amy, and Sawyer