Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I am having a hard time. People act like I am "wallowing" or something like that because I still want to talk about my son. I am still grieving, and I feel like people are annoyed by that grief. It's not fair. Would it be so hard for people to sometimes say "Are you doing ok?" or "We're thinking about Brian." ??? Or even to actually listen to me when I try to answer those questions honestly. They just want me to say yes, I'm ok, and get over it already.

4 comments:

April said...

Oh, poo on them. (Honoring the Brown fascination with feces, see?) :) Honey, say what you need to say, feel what you need to feel. This is real life, not the fantasy world we sometimes wish it was. The people who love you will figure out how to deal with it and if we have to do some growing up in the process, well... so be it...

Crystal said...

Hi (((Amy))) ~

I am so SO sorry that you lost your son and my heart aches for you. I can relate to you a little because about 4 years ago I was on my 3rd year of trying to get pregnant with my 3rd child ~ LONG STORY. One day I was about 20 days late and took a pregnancy test and it turned up positive and that turned out to be a false positive. Over the next year I had false positives and late periods happen to me SEVEN times! Each and every time it was unbearable. During this time my SIL got pregnant with her first and it was really hard for me. Before I had my first false positive my in-laws were annoyed that I was pregnant and I was even accused of trying to take away my SIL's thunder. It was a very painful time in my life and so heartbreaking not to have love and support from my husband’s family that I love so much.

Anyway, when my SIL was pregnant I just felt so jealous of her and it ate away at me. You should know that I LOVE my SIL SOOO much. BUT it was just really hard. We actually talked VERY openly about my envy and hurt and we actually grew closer (but her being pregnant was still hard to bare).

So that is how I relate a little.

I'm praying for you and agree with April talk and vent as much as you need too. You experienced a real loss! It is hard to just "move on" after losing a child at ANY age. Everyone's grieving processes it different. So if you need to talk and if no one will listen talk and vent with me or you amazing friend April who loves you SO much!!

I pray that your loved ones will just love you the way you need them too and that you are showered with unconditional love.

(((hugs)))

Crystal said...

BTW, you and your husband are such a cute couple!!

Jim and Amy Rennie said...

Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers, Crystal. It means a lot to us.