Strange . . .

I just went out for a drive, and guess what song played? "Imagine" by John Lennon. How strange is that? I knew it was the boys sending me their love, and so I told them how much I loved them back.

I realized, too, that I need to go easier on people. A lot of people don't behave the way I would like them to--it's true. They don't give me the things I feel like I need to grieve for my children. Sometimes they act downright ridiculous to try to keep me from being hurt. They tiptoe around, telling lies (or mild untruths) to try to "protect" me. However, I think many people aren't accustomed to dealing with the death of children, so they aren't sure how to handle it. Some people are able to follow my lead, or they have a certain level of emotional depth and can handle the situation better than others. If I want to educate people, I need to do it gently, and with compassion. After all, I might not have known how to treat people who have lost children had I not lost my own. I deleted a blog from earlier, one which was filled with my bitterness and anger towards these people. I got some good responses, which I really do appreciate. But I decided in the end that if I hold on to the feelings of frustration and anger that I have towards these people, I am only hurting myself and I'm not helping them to learn how to behave in this situation.

So . . .I'm going to try to live the way I've always tried to live, by forgiving and trying to help others. I feel like that's what the boys were reminding me of by sending me this song.

Imagine
by John Lennon

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one