Sunday, November 19, 2006

Sorry to get a little . . .well . . .irritable in my last post. It wasn't directed at anyone personally. I just feel angry sometimes that I have to apologize for my feelings about my son, and that isn't ya'll's fault . . .it seems a lot of the time that the people around me (IRL, or "In Real Life"hehe) have decided not only that I am not allowed to talk about it, but almost that I shouldn't be "dwelling on it" anymore. They also intentionally leave me out of things because they think I am "negative" or bring people down. So that hurts. But I am coping, and it's ok. It's just difficult, and this is, as April said (thank you for understanding, April) my "house." It's my place to think aloud and share some of what is in my heart.

Tonight we had a Thanksgiving Service at church. It is a mixed service with us (the Baptists) and the Methodists. I had never been to one of them before tonight, and I was pleasantly surprised. It was quite nice. One of the things we did was write down what we were thankful for, and then at the end of the service, the congregation was invited to share what they'd written if they felt lead to. It was quite touching, the things that people said. Jim and I did not choose to share with the congregation at large, but rather with each other. I thought that what we wrote was so nice it deserved sharing, so I am sharing it here.
~I am thankful that the man I love made it across 6,000 miles and the wide ocean to be with me now.
~I am thankful that no matter how much I hurt, my child in Heaven never will.
~I am thankful for this new life--our 2nd child.
~I am thankful we will all be a family together one day.
~I am thankful for New Life.
~I am thankful for the power to keep going when the needle points to "E."
~I am thankful that I can still feel love.
~I am thankful for melodies which keep me company when I am in loveless places.

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