Well . . .here we go! I have mild toxemia. Possibly. I had been noticing some serious swelling in my feet, but chalked it up to normal pregnancy issues. Then yesterday, my feet and ankles got HUGE, and I mean huge. My hands and fingers started to swell, as well as my face. I had some pain on my right side under the ribs. I looked this up online and saw that it could be toxemia (also known as preeclampsia). So I had Jim take my blood pressure, and it was pretty high for me--the top number was like 144. I called Dr. H and he told me to go to Methodist, where I will be delivering, and have them check everything out. They took several blood pressures, which were all high. However, my labs were normal and my urine was normal. The doctor said it was a "matter of time" before the labs and urine would start to be affected. They spoke to Dr. H again and he said I could go home. The doctor at Methodist told me to come back in the morning at 10:00 to see Dr. H, who would be the doctor on duty.

Last night, Jim took my blood pressure a couple more times after I'd rested, and it was picture perfect. So we started wondering if I really was toxemic or not. This morning, he took it again before I got up, and it was perfect. When we got to the hopsital, they took several readings over the course of an hour, and all were perfect. The baby was healthy on the NST, so they sent me home. I need to go back to see Dr. H on Monday.

I have a feeling that, if anything, this is a mild case. The doctor last night painted a very grave picture about how quickly it could get "bad." However, I read online that mild toxemia can be controlled with rest, and seeing as how after rest my bp readings were great . . .well, I'm not a doctor, but I did speak to several of the nurses at Methodist today about it, and they thought I could still make it to the C-section date of 38 weeks if I take it easy between now and then. They said the doctor who happened to be there last night was a very serious doctor who took everything to its most extreme. Which is FINE with me. I'd rather that than they miss something or send me home and something goes wrong.

So now I am not supposed to work, and I'm supposed to be resting 16 of every 24 hours. If I am up, I should still be sitting down. If I do go somewhere, like say out to dinner or to WalMart, it should be for a short period, and then I need to lay down when I get home. The only place I really plan to go is to the doctor and to my baby shower, and even then, I plan to sit with my feet up the whole time! I want to make sure we get Amelie as far as we can before her arrival--but I am actually feeling pretty positive because at this point, she will be okay even if she is born tomorrow. She may have a few minor issues, but they can be dealt with and she will make it. Either way, sometime within the next 3 weeks, we will get to meet our baby girl! We would appreciate your prayers, just to be sure that this toxemia thing doesn't turn into something more serious and my blood pressure stays under control.

Mother Teresa's Final Analysis

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.


If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.


If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you; be honest and sincere anyway.


What you spend years creating, others may destroy overnight; create anyway.


If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous; be happy anyway.


The good you do today will often be forgotten; do good anyway.


Give the best you have, and it may never be enough; give your best anyway.


In the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.

Well, baby girl is kicking like the next karate kid lately. I love it! It's so much fun now . . .you can actually see my entire belly move when she does! She is so big . . she measures about 3-4 weeks ahead on sonograms, and about 6 weeks ahead with the uterus measurements. I just hope she fits into all the newborn clothes I bought for her! But I am glad she is big and growing well. The next few weeks are going to go sloooow! I am loving the weather, though. That will make the wait a little bit easier. We are happy to wait--obviously we want her to go full term--but we also are very excited to meet her, so we want the remaining time to move by quickly (as if)!

Please keep my friend April and her baby Emmeliese in your prayers. Emmeliese was born last Tuesday (the 10th). She was born full term, but had some problems with oxygen saturation and a rapid heartbeat. She also was born with an infection. She is currently in the level 2 NICU nursery with a PICC line for antibiotic treatment. She was jaundiced, but recently came off the bili lights. Overall she is doing really well. She is having some trouble with nursing, but other than that, seems to be progressing quite nicely towards coming home soon! Just keep them in your prayers. It is hard for any parent to have to leave their child in the hospital. We are just rejoicing that it won't be long before little Emmeliese will be able to join her family at home.

Clairsentient

Feeling is your sixth sense. Called clairsentient (clear feeling), your inner voice is one that touches on your empathetic nature. What does this mean? Well, you're probably the most emotional of your friends and you are very in touch with the feelings of others. As a clairsentient, you often know something is wrong because you experience an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach (or the opposite for good things). It might be that your friend has had a bad day--but hasn't told anyone--and somehow you just know what's going on. Often this type of intuitive knowledge cannot be explained. We bet you've got a bunch of friends, and who wouldn't want a friend that just knows without being told...especially on those bad days.

Holding Space for Others: Being A Container

We have all been called upon at one time or another to help a loved one through a difficult time. When the help required consists of concrete actions, such as running errands or making phone calls, we know what to do. But sometimes we are called simply to hold space for the person as they go through whatever they need to go through. They may need to express anger or grief; they may need to talk or be silent. They may need us to hold their hand; they may need us to give them time alone. Whatever the case, when we hold space for someone, we offer ourselves up as a container for the overwhelming feelings they may be encountering due to their circumstances.

When we offer ourselves in this way, the more centered and grounded we are, the better. Our steadiness allows our companion to lean into us for support, as our presence provides an environment in which they can be free to move. We can also help by being responsive, allowing them to dictate the flow of action from talking to not talking, from anger to grief, and back again. By being aware and open, we can help them confront their feelings when that feels right, and back off from them when they need a break. Holding space requires humility, conscientiousness, and the ability to step out of the way, to honestly understand that this is not about us.

When we love someone in this way, we provide a space in which they can simply be. Able to feel what they need to feel without worrying about how they are being perceived. We can provide this offering in person, over the phone, or even from a distance, through meditation. However we do it, when we hold space for someone in need, we are offering a gift of the highest nature.

C-Section is Scheduled!!!

April 21 at 7:30 in the morning at Methodist Medical Center. Hooray!!!

And, as a friend reminded me today . . .