Thursday, April 10, 2008

March 31, 2007 ~ April 11, 2007

Sawyer, you left us in the wee hours of the morning, quietly and peacefully, with complete courage. Our beautiful boy, we love you. We are so lost without you, yet we celebrate the wonder and miracle of you. We are so proud you are our son.

The songs on our playlist are all dedicated to Sawyer. For various reasons, they all bring him instantly to mind. Some of them we played for him, some were played at his funeral, and some of them are songs that are inseperable from his little life. We were listening to Regina Spektor almost constantly during the two weeks before he was born, and then while he was alive. If we get into the car and play her CDs, we are instantly and heartbreakingly transported to those moments in time. It feels like I am pregnant again, full of hope . . .or on my way to St. Francis to check into the antenatal unit . . .or driving up to visit Sawyer in the NICU. Many of the songs are almost completely perfect to describe Sawyer and his life . . .like Blackbird, or Love . . .and others have an ambiance that just "feels" like him. Some have a line that just grabs our hearts and brings us closer to our son. We hope you will take some time to listen.

And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.

~Raymond Carver

1 comment:

Nichole said...

A very beautiful picture of Sawyer. He has such a cute little nose. I don't think I ever saw this picture before (the second picture). I also enjoy listening to the songs.